You’ve only gone and clicked on Scamp, a brand new magazine

full of chit-chat and arty-farty editorial projects. This is our pilot

issue, we don’t quite know who we are yet: we’re in the midst of an adolescent identity crisis, and boy it sure is fun!


By the way, I noticed recently that some poor cow has gone and lost

her Louis Vuitton purse on Stave Hill – please be a good citizen and

get in touch if you find it. It’s not a real Louis Vuitton purse, but who

cares? Fake things can be way more interesting. Take our cover star, Audrey Carpetburn, for instance: far from being some hot new model - or a long-lost Kardashian sister - our Audrey doesn’t actually exist, the poor girl is merely a figment of the imagination (our stylist John William’s, to be precise), but you’ll meet her later on...


Oh, just to let you know (for health and safety reasons) - this is actually a magic magazine: if you shut your eyes and chant the word Walkies over and over, it’ll ani-morph into an adorable little three-eyed dog. Put his lead on, pack a few treats, and come along for a walk with us... We’ll start in Berlin, talking about bad art and North Korean propaganda with the writer Travis Jeppesen, then we’ll doggy-paddle back over the Atlantic to take tea in Glasgow, gabbing about all things Scottish with artist Rachel Maclean before our adventure culminates at a lost property auction in Tooting - just remember to pack a few poop bags, it’s gonna be a long journey...